My father has been living with me since my mother passed away. I'm the youngest of my parents' four children. Contrary to the typical theories about birth order and gender, I've always been the one to step up and take care of others in the family. 

My parents were “old school” in that Mom took care of a lot of the household responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, setting up doctor appointments, etc. Her passing left Dad unprepared to fulfill these duties. Of course, losing his partner of 52 years took it’s emotional toll as well. My father often felt helpless and unmotivated to carry on. 

When I decided to become the caregiver for Dad, I knew I would need to attend to my father's physical needs as well as his emotional needs. One thing you need to understand about my father is that he is a very proud man. The idea of having his son “change his diaper” and “bathe him like a baby” (his words, not mine) was ego crushing for him. I tried to find ways that Dad could still be somewhat independent. He uses rinse-free bathing cloths to clean himself as much as possible and a rinse-free shampoo to clean his hair in bed. When things get too much, he calls on me for help. With a little patience and trust, we figured it out, man to man.  I just had to let him find his comfort level. 

It isn't easy, but as my father taught me, "Sullivan men always make the best of a tough situation". I have never felt closer to my father and he says the same thing. Tough, but well worth the effort.